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Home News Fashion Headlines Your handbag speaks a thousand words - your haircut is a book
Your handbag speaks a thousand words - your haircut is a book
Saturday, 06 February 2010 10:14
DON'T you just love a good "How you reveal all without saying a word" article, in which an expert gives the skinny on how everything about your look, from the tilt of your head to the haircut, gives away something about you? So little science, so much fun - especially when a "Stars Without Makeup" spread is not on offer that particular Saturday morning.
 
Print Dress 

The latest one to tickle my fancy was an extract from a new book, The You Code, in which a pair called Judi James and James Moore reveal how your every fashion and homewares choice speaks volumes about your deepest self. It was such fun I tried to read it slowly.

In a nutshell, hairstyle is "inextricably linked to our personality", shoes have a "mystical" ability to reveal our values, handbags are - surprise - status badges. And lots of herbal potions and massage oils in the bathroom cupboard mean you are a narcissist (up yourself). The only problem with the piece was it all sounded a bit too English, so I've done my best here to localise a few.
 

HAIR

Full head of mono-coloured dyed blonde hair (worn with orange tan).

A misunderstood soul who genuinely suffers from all those jibes about Brighton, BMW-driving and the bird cage. Also known as the deep-fried blonde. A natural brunette. 

Two-centimetre GT stripe

A free spirit who has probably spent too much at the January sales and run out of spare cash to fix the roots. Confident: either doesn't care, or has tricked herself into thinking no one else will notice.

Four-inch GT stripe

A born rebel who enjoys the music of Courtney Love and has fond memories of doing "circle work" in other people's cars. Or, is Britney Spears.

Perpetually ironed hair

A disciplined individual who is also trying to tong away any internal turmoil. A secret Afro fancier.

Ponytail tied with a Dorothy the Dinosaur hair thing

A fun-loving toddler. Or, an over-stretched woman in early middle age who has also lost her sunglasses.
 

BAGS

Fake designer, from China

An intelligent type who realises that in a society obsessed with material success you can still take a few useful short cuts. Or, a tragic fashion victim.

Tiny square bag at all times Born organiser who refuses to let life's clutter bring her down. Or, natural mess-monster on a self control experiment.

Enormous bag chockful of stuff A generous soul who can always find space in her heart for one more. But someone who would benefit from a GPS beacon, or Totem Tennis ball being tied to her car keys.
 

CLOTHES

Full tracksuit, worn shopping at Myer

An altruist who has decided to give up the selfish ways of her youth and have a baby, probably within the past two years. Or is Madonna.

Pyjamas under full tracksuit, worning shopping at Coles

A selfless soul who has given up her gym membership, sleep and love of "on-trend" dressing to have a third child. Probably within the past four years. 

Permanent singlet-top

Is from Sydney. Or, has just had boob job, or both. Double-denim (jeans material, worn top and bottom) A nostalgia buff, with a sentimental longing for the past and David Cassidy. Or, is J.Lo at a movie preview.

Top-to-bottom animal print worn whenever possible

Someone whose regrets include not having thought of writing My Big Fat Greek Wedding before Nia Vardalos did, or not working at Australia Zoo. Or is Dannii Minogue.
 

SHOES

Killer heels worn to work 

Ambitious individual, ready to suffer her way to the top. Most likely married to a podiatrist.

Thongs worn to work on "casual Fridays" 

An adventurous spirit who is looking for a new job. Danish-made boots worn from April 30 to November 1 continuously (possibly also in bed)

Is from Malvern.

Plain black patent leather ballet flat A busy soul who may try to pack that little bit much into life. Or, someone who dressed in the dark. Or is me.


Caption:  A pair of women wearing animal print frocks.
 
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